Dave Pigeon : How to deal with bad cats and keep (most of ) your feathers

If you can read this, you obviously understand Pigeonese. You may read my book. If you’re a cat and you’ve learnt Pigeonese .

. . (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese).

This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat’s business.